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Uber and Lyft still aren’t 100% safe. These tips can (maybe) help.

Remember stranger danger? That bit of advice your parents told so you wouldn’t help Buffalo Bill move a couch still holds up. Ride-sharing apps still have a ways to go in order to insure the safety of their riders, but we could also take a few extras steps to help ourselves. Steps such as:

  1. Making sure you ACTUALLY called an Uber.                                                                                          Did you really request an Uber or do you just think you did? Whether you had way too much fun with the drink specials or your memory just plain sucks, it couldn’t hurt to double check.

 

  1. Checking the license plate of car that’s picking you up…                                                                     to see if it matches the one belonging to your driver.

 

  1. Confirm the name of your driver to make sure he or she wasn’t murdered.                      When you get to the car, follow this script:                                                                                                       “Hey, you Chad?”                                                                                                                                                    Then (hopefully) they’ll say:                                                                                                                                  “Nah bro, I’m Clarence.”                                                                                                                                           And you’ll say:                                                                                                                                                       “Cool, you passed the test.”                                                                                                                                Boom, you’re in the clear.

 

  1. Ride a horse.                                                                                                                                                      Horses are way smarter than cars and practically drive themselves.                                                    According to a top commenter on a yahoo answers post titled “What are the disadvantages of horse riding?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Quote: “When I’m in the saddle, there are no disadvantages.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Well I’m sold. Next time I pull up to the club, I’ll hand the reigns over to the bouncer and say “just put’em anywhere,” because you can! Also carrots and apples are significantly cheaper than gasoline unless you’re shopping at Whole Foods. How much do horses eat again?

 

  1. Have a designated driver.                                                                                                                                     If a cab ride is going to be ludicrously expensive, sucker your nice friend into driving. Say you’ll make it   up with Shen Yuen tickets.

 

If you have any tips of your own we’d love to read them in the comments!

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