A lot about our identity seems to be sexualized these days, especially as the media often promotes a hyper level of sexy, in which we have to show some skin or have a fit bod to make everyone jealous and qualify us as a “catch.” Well, not everyone is trying to take it straight to the sack – and quick PSA: looks aren’t everything.
Just like confidence exerts a certain flair in someone and makes them attractive, so does sensuality. Not only does it add sugar and spice to the way you carry yourself, you can then attract that energy back to you. It’s a win win type of situation.
But wait hold on, aren’t sensuality and sexuality basically the same thing? NOPE!
Sensuality coach, Shan Sally, explains that sensuality is “reuniting with your emotions to fully feel in the body intimacy, connection, authentic living, and love for the self and others.” A lot of people tend to think of sensuality as synonymous with sex, but can you really have good sex without sensuality? Well, for starters, they are not the same – and no, you probably can’t, because sensuality will often serve as the precursor to sex as it will allow you to feel and get you juiced for what’s coming.
Per Shan Sally’s website, the following are signs to look for when assessing your own level of sensuality…
Sally explains that we need to allow ourselves to feel – not just the good, but also the bad. Yes, allow ourselves – because all too often we’re quick to suppress anything that makes us uncomfortable. When we focus on suppressing the bad, it’s a habit we immediately fall into, and we propagate a “pain-free” illusion and “cancel culture” rampant in our relationships. Plus, if we keep suppressing our feelings, we never learn how to deal with them – both the good and the bad.
To paint a quick picture, how many of you have those tias or tios who are coquetos? Yeah the ones who are somewhat flirtatious, but not presumptuous – they just have their own way of talking and walking, and the way they carry themselves is full of energy. They are in tune with who they are and allow themselves to feel good. My point is, we have to be in tune with ourselves so that others can be in tune with us!
So to wrap things up, a person can be very sensual, but that does NOT mean they will sleep with someone right away or that they are overtly sexual. So keep getting cute for no one but yourself!