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Inn at Little Washington Official
Inn at Little Washington Official

Mannequin Customers Coming to Half-Empty Restaurants

Want to dine in a crowded restaurant, but still be a safe social distance away from other patrons? Well, it’s time to get weird in our new reality. Mannequins are the solution, according to the Inn at Little Washington, a restaurant in Rappahannock County, Virgina. While visiting your favorite virtual LALIFF film festival might be one way to cope with a crisis, a night out for dinner would also be a welcome escape. They’re planning to open for dinner on Friday, May 29th and allow half the amount of usual guests to be situated between tables filled with mannequins for a dinner experience curated in collaboration with Arlington’s Signature Theater and Design Foundry. The tasting menus from chef Patrick O’Connell at this three Michelin star eatery start at $248 per person – so, it’s not exactly for those on a crisis budget.

The idea to sit you down in a dining room full of mannequins is not just a sign of progress, but also one of hope. Hope that we will not go “back to normal,” but instead get really weird with it. We don’t have to be constrained by the limits of our pre-COVID reality, a world where there’s traffic, places are crowded and I don’t get to dress like a ninja from the neck up. That world is over, and honestly it was stupid boring. Here’s some other ideas for ways to upgrade our pre-coronavirus activities.

First, sports.

The entire sports world has taken a break leaving many fans without a thing to cheer for, hate on, or direct their toxic masculinity towards; but, we all know having fans in the stands is just not safe. Instead of shutting fans out of the stadium, let the fans back in – only, do it safely. Fill seats with computers and tablets and let people Skype or Zoom into the stands so they can get the full experience of screaming and yelling without the risk of being too close to other people. Better yet, strap a tablet onto the referee and let lucky fans live the game from the blind referees’ P.O.V.

obama and student hand shake Second, handshaking.

Handshaking has always been gross and stupid, so let’s replace it with something better that serves the same purpose. We need a new ritual that can help us when greeting people while giving us a little insight into a person’s character. I propose instead of shaking goopy toxic hands to greet each other, we simply stare at one another uninterrupted for 15 seconds. That should be enough time to get a feel of the person’s mood, their intentions, and how they handle discomfort. Personally, I’d prefer if it was capped off with a shriek or noise of some sort to mark the end of the stare, but we’re quite a ways away from that.

old drive in imageFinally, there’s the movie experience.

The clearest solution is drive-in theatres. Currently there are only a few left, so let’s make some more! Just use the same parking lot you use for the theatre, and flip the whole thing inside out… and while we’re at it, just have drive-in concerts. We all know the best way to experience music is either in a concert or in your car, so let’s combine the two and do a drive in concert experience!

 

 

Spend Quarantine with Bruno and Natasha of The Hub on LATV

 

Image source: Inn at Little Washington Official

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