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Dear Pollen, You Are The Bane of My Existence

Dear Pollen,

I understand that you are essential to the process of life on earth as we know it, but I hate you anyway.

These seasonal allergies have me in a serious huff and puff, and with this coronavirus looming I do not need any false flag operations going down in my immune system – I’m a hypochondriac as it is.

So…Spring is here…and the bright, warm days, following a later rain dump than usual this year, have led to quite the bloom. What it means for folks with grass and tree pollen allergies (like me) is a scratchy, itchy, sneezy existence. Along with that, there exists the constant conversation in my head about whether I’m actually sick or not.

These days, I have to essentially lock myself in my house with all the windows shut until the worst is over; coincidentally, we are already on lockdown. My sneezing is incessant; my nose is so itchy I want to run an industrial-strength pipe cleaner though it (that is a joke, but don’t tell that to Trump), and my eyes – oh, for the love of goodness gracious, my eyes! So, so, so itchy!

I am probably going to get some sort of horrible eye infection like I do every year because I cannot stop touching them. Also, my nails are like razors and even though the skin around the eyes is so super-tough and resilient, I might be doing some damage with all this irresistible scratching and tugging and smushing of my eyelids.

I have been downing Benadryl and generic-something-or-another like candy, to no avail. If you could overdose on eye drops, I would be dead by now. I have eaten local farm-to-table honey to no avail. My neti pot helps. What I need is a bubble. Like the one in Bubble Boy, or this lady.

Do you have allergies? Any tips for surviving the season? As always, let us know in the comments below…

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